Facing the Music

When I was growing up, occasionally I was told I needed "to face the music".

I had acted out, hurt someone or their feelings, disobeyed in some way and there were consequences.

It was never enjoyable but once it was over, it was over and hopefully I remembered the lessons my parents felt I needed to learn.

Now here I am in my mid-70's "facing the music" but it's my choice this time.

Of course, you know what I'm talking about -- racism in America.

The temptation for me is "well, I'm 73, what can I do about any of this"?

But that doesn't really fly -- I'm still alive and I can do something!

Like many, I have no idea of what to do in face of the current need to change my attitudes.

What to read? 

Who to listen to? 

Who to talk with?

A good first step for me is focusing on understanding with the expectation that it will trigger action in the future.

I have created this peaceful space for myself but when I want to go someplace, I just go!

So the story of Christian Cooper birding in Central Park and becoming embroiled in a controversy really upset me.  In reading interviews in the New York Times, I was stunned to learn black birders and naturalists who enjoy spending time in nature as I do don't feel safe or welcome in public open spaces.

I do think about where I go when heading out for a birding morning or a long walk but it has to do with staying in an area where I can get help easily if needed now that I'm getting older.

I'm not planning to fall or have a stroke but it could happen and I don't want to be 2 miles down a long narrow ravine anymore.

But to worry about people hassling me about why I'm there and what am I doing with those binoculars - that would be devastating for me.

So I've started listening to what black birders and naturalists are saying and sharing on Instagram. My favorite discovery so far is a young family @blackkidsdohike because I love the positive way they are teaching their three boys to explore the outdoors!

Some where I stumbled across the recommendation to read a book, White Fragility by Robin Diangelo.  Perhaps you've made the same discovery?  I'm just about finished and feel it's been an eye opening read.  If you are puzzled about racism, I've found Diangelo's views helpful in understanding it's existence.  Reading this book has been a non-threatening activity -- I can feel embarrassed about my position without having to defend myself and therefore focus on undestanding this viewpoint.  Diangelo's career as a diversity facilitator gives her credibility with me -- she understands how we white folks react to this word.   As I learned from several long periods of grief counseling to combat depression, 

understanding is an important key to moving forward.

 

It might be hard to find it in a library right now, but it's available as a Kindle book for those of you who use a reading device.

For those of us who were young adults during the 1960's, part of our history includes the Civil Rights movement in the USA.  Last week, I borrowed (via Hoopla) and watched I Am Not Your Negro, a film based on the writings of James Baldwin, an author and friend of key players in the movement.  Oh my!  I see now that the way I remember that decade is a narrow view from "up here in the North" and there was so much more to it. I came away from watching that thinking "why didn't we finish the job" that was started over fifty years ago -- the goals haven't changed and while some things have improved, so much more is needed!

Read more about James Baldwin HERE.

I know most of you are quilters, but knitters as a group seem to be ahead of us in the area of diversity.  For several years, they've been expanding recognition of diverse designers and indie dyers representing a broader spectrum of lifestyles and traditions.

One of my favorite knitting resources is highly regarded for their daily "letters" and connecting folks.  Within less than a week of the first demonstrations, Ann and Kay changed their business name from Mason-Dixon Knitting to Modern Daily Knitting -- no hesitation, just did it! 

Last week in one of their daily letters, they connected their readers to an interview panel organized and hosted by Oprah Winfrey -- Where Do We Go From Here.

More eye opening!

Planning to listen to it again!

HERE is a link to their letter which you can use to listen for yourself.

Finally, while I'm not the "demonstrator" kind of gal, I am taking on the (intimidating) task of sharing these resources with my children in the hopes that they will do a better job of raising people that are not afflicted by racism and all the pernicious aspects of that viewpoint. 

Every resource I've shared here today, I've shared with my adult children and I pray that they are exploring them as well.  I said to them, "if I had understood this better when I was a young mom, I would have taught you differently".

 That's the best I can do and I hope it works!

What we are experiencing today in my opinion is the result of not listening.

If we don't listen to what folks are trying to tell us, we can hardly expect them to listen to anything we say?

I hope there is a next step for me -- I just don't know what it is at this point.

Thanks for reading!

Mary